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Review: Goat Simulator

In Goat Simulator you are a goat.

I don’t know what else you want from me.

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Review: Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes

Reviewing a game like Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes is incredibly difficult. On one hand, it is up to me, the reviewer to assess it’s value for the consumer, you, and whether or not you should spend your hard-earned cash on it. On the other, it is also up to me to critique it as a game, a task that some may argue has nothing to do with how much a game costs. After all, a game’s price is not eternal, eventually it will drop. Thus I’ve decided to ignore the price as a factor in my determination of this game’s score, leaving it up to you to decide the monetary value.

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Review: Volgarr The Viking

Wanting to recreate and pay homage to Super Ghouls ‘n Ghosts infamous legacy of precision and difficulty is enough to strike fear into even the most seasoned of hardcore platformer lovers, but luckily you’ve got a viking on your side this time. Everybody loves Vikings, right?

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Review: Paper Sorcerer

Ultra Runaway Games isn’t ready to close the book on old-school first-person dungeon crawls just yet, but is Paper Sorcerer’s unique sense of style and taste for brutal turn-based combat enough to be the page turner it aspires to be?

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Review: Strider

Capcom’s classic cypher-slinging ninja gets a much deserved revival for next-gen in this souped-up “exploration-based” re-imagining of the late-80′s arcade game.

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Review: LIGHTNING RETURNS: FINAL FANTASY XIII

The first FINAL FANTASY XIII was a disaster, but the second one was a major improvement and really enjoyable. But can Lightning strike twice?

It’s time to find out.

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Review: Proteus

Proteus is one of the few games I picked up during my Playstation Network winter sale binge. Developed by Ed Key and David Kanaga this artistic odyssey leaves the player, or viewer I should say, with more questions than answers. With a minimalistic art style sprinkled with a musical undercurrent, this journey makes you want to believe it has more to offer.

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Review: Oniken

Straight-up, if you’re looking to play a hella-NES game, get yourself to Steam right now and grab a copy of Oniken by JoyMasher, because it is a hella-NES game.

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Review: Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc

Picture your ideal high school experience; If it doesn’t involve a boatload of murder then you may want to steer clear of Hope’s Peak Academy. Such is the nature of the school that acts as the backdrop for the PlayStation Vita’s newest, and perhaps quirkiest exclusive.

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Review: The Last of Us: Left Behind

It’s been 8 months since Naughty Dog released what many consider the best gaming experience of 2013. Indeed, The Last of Us was an almost perfect narrative package that left little room for expansion. Perhaps this is why Left Behind, the only planned piece of singleplayer DLC for the game, focused on fleshing out Ellie’s backstory as well as filling in a minor plot point from the original campaign.

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Review: Mighty Switch Force! 2

WayForward’s original Mighty Switch Force! was a great argument in the early days of Nintendo’s 3DS eShop, and the sequel looks to heat things up a bit as our heroine Patty Wagon dons some firefighter garb and sets out to cool off the town.

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Review: Ultionus: A Tale of Petty Revenge

Disproportionately-busty galactic hero, Serena S sets out on a mission of full “testicular annihilation” in this ode to classic PC run and gunners. Does she succeed, or is Ultionus too top-heavy with nostalgia?

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Review: realMyst: Masterpiece Edition

Why do you insist on continuously ruining a classic over and over again?

Read about how realMyst: Masterpiece Edition ends up another chapter in a book of disappointing Myst re-releases.

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Review: Jazzpunk

Like The Walking Dead, The Stanley Parable, and Gone Home before it, Necrophone Games’ hyper-stylized comedic effort Jazzpunk is destined to be the centerpiece of yet another internet-wide “Is a Game/Is Not a Game” debate that isn’t worth having. Is it worth playing? Read on to find out.

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Review: Dungeon Keeper (iOS)

Don’t play this game.

Just don’t.

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